Nightmare scenarios

The Dutch news has been dominated by the disappearance of two brothers, after their father was found having committed suicide. Now the boys have been found dead too....

In France a British father has killed his children on the first visit he was allowed to have with them after a long time...

Last Sunday a grandfather and grandmother took their 2 year old grandchild for a bike ride in the South of the Netherlands. They peddled along a quiet road on a separate bike lane, away from the main road. One car, one slight bend and all 3 were killed.

My children are 12, 14 and 16 and from the moment they were born I have had nightmares and horror scenarios going through my head. Besides all the 'normal' fears of them falling off the stairs, getting a life threatening illness or crossing the road without looking, I have feared trains taking off with my child(ren) in it and me on the platform (or the other way around), children on their own in an elevator or them getting lost while on a school trip.

The fear of loosing a child is overpowering and I can't imagine what it must be like for the mothers of those murdered children. Imagine the "What if" and "How could I have prevented this?".

The truth is that there is not much you can do. You can teach them how to cross the road safely and what to do if that train indeed takes off without mama in it, but there is nothing you can do about that one driver loosing control or that insane ex-partner that doesn't want you to have the kids if he can't have them either...


We take risks every day, calculated risks most of the time, but the trick is not to let it get to you. I don't want to influence my boy's life by my fears. We raise them as best we can and give them all the love we feel for them. Our fears should be translated into sound advise and then let go of... soooooo hard to do.

My boys are 12, 14 and 16 and sometimes it feels like a miracle that they made it so far without any serious injuries. I will keep saying my prayers and hope for the best.