The Stage King

 

 

The Stage King

I am Simon Spaander, the Stage King.
I wonder am I in the matrix, is that even a thing?
I hear humans constantly chattering, all day long.
I see the wonderful birds, wondering about their next song.
I want the love of my family, above everything.
I am Simon Spaander, the Stage King.

I pretend I am flying, with beautiful wings in the sky.
I feel the wind, as if I'm way up high.
I touch the mountain tops, with their stones so round.
I worry if I will tire, and plummet to the ground.
I cry, for maybe my family will do that exact thing.
I am Simon Spaander, the Stage King.

I understand that I stand here in full, and I say that is partially true.
I dream of becoming a world famous actor.
I try to do that, but I'm just in school, doing math with a protractor.
I hope that will happen, and I will one day be king.
I am Simon Spaander, the Stage King.

Commercial Street

My friend and I went to Commercial Street today to order a mosquito net for the spare bed, in preparation for my parents visit.

And when I am in that area I love to walk around and browse. It is colourful and noisy and crowded and so much fun.

Cows having breakfast

 

 

 

 

Bangles

Bangles

 

Bangles

 

 

 

'Antique' shop

 

How much stuff can you pack in a shop that is about 2m wide and 10m long? A lot I can tell you, and amongst all the mess are some truly nice things, it is just a matter of time, patience and courage to try and find them.

Being a good mother!

It is Saturday morning. We slept in (I woke up at 6:30 instead of at 5:45), had our coffee in bed at 8:00 on the dot thanks to our lovely youngest son Simon.
I love weekend-mornings, when one by one our boys end up on our bed and we have all sorts of fun discussions and stories about the week that was or things to come. I just love having all my men around, I am very clingy like that.

Joshua went out with two friends from his class to find a volunteer job with an NGO for Saturdays. They have to do social service hours for IB. I have been thinking about it all week, planning what they should do and how they should do it. I kept asking him about it and giving him advice on how to approach it. I am very irritating involved like that.

I knew it wouldn't be a good plan for me to come along, but I had sort of hoped I could persuade Adriaan to go with them. No such luck. And of course Adriaan is right, three sixteen year old boys should be more than capable to sort their own things out.

So here I am on a lovely Saturday morning, sitting at home, being a good mum!

It is very hard to type while keeping my fingers crossed, so that's why this is such a short post

TWENTY YEARS!

Twenty years ago, on 17 September 1993, I said yes to the love of my life and we looked like this:

Look how young we were (26 and 32)! My boys always have to laugh when they see this photo, "Look, look, daddy had hair!".

So much has happened since that day. We have lived in 5 different countries, were blessed with 3 beautiful children and had lots of adventures together.
We have also gone through some rough patches, lost family members and went through traumatic times due to evacuations.

It is safe to say our marriage has been tried and tested over the past 20 years and despite it all we are still going strong.

Sunday afternoon

After a week of solo parenting, which is not that hard with my boys being quite easy going at the moment, I am glad Adriaan is on his way back home from Houston. He left at 18:50 Houston time on Saturday and will land at 03:00 on Monday morning Bangalore time, to be home around 04:30. I guess it will take some time (and sleep) to get back to normal after that.

It is Sunday afternoon and the sun is finally out after many rainy days. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will last long enough to dry the house up a bit. Everything seems to be damp and it is starting to smell a bit moldy. The laundry takes ages to dry and I can't use the dryer for most of the time because of the power cuts that go hand in hand with the rain. We have back up power, but not to run electricity slurping devices like hot water boilers, a micro wave oven or a dryer.

Yesterday I noticed some damp patches on the walls upstairs, so I feared the drain pipes on the roof were blocked. Vista's maintenance people came by to check. Our house has three parts to the roof, two triangular parts with a flat part in the middle. To get to the flat bit they have to climb a ladder from the balcony and then climb over the top of the roof.
No blockage, but worse: the cement is cracked and needs to be repaired. Vista maintenance does not do that job, so we have to find someone who does.
Before he started his descend from our roof again, he threw down at least 8 tennis balls. The Sunday morning cricket guys aim for the sky apparently...


We have had great fun about the latest shampoo ad on Indian television and the boys have asked for Beer Shampoo for their "man hair". I finally bought it for them yesterday...after I had cut their hair with the clippers....so much for bouncy, shiny man hair ;-)

Click on the link to see the commercial:

http://youtu.be/4Oz9R64yYY4


School has been running for 3 weeks now and the boys seem to be settled into the new routine with different subjects and new teachers. We have been learning the ins and outs of the IB program and it is obvious that Joshua will be busy these 2 school years. Six subjects, of which one (Dutch) self-taught, an Extended Essay, Theory of Knowledge and CAS-hours will take up most of his time, also outside school hours.

Right now it is time for coffee on the balcony, to enjoy the sunshine while it lasts!

Opinions

There has been a discussion on several blogs/Facebook pages about posting photographs online. It all started with this blog post http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/

It is written by a mother of teenage boys (and 1 girl) and is meant as a warning for teenage girls not to post photographs of a more 'sexual' nature online because (quote):

"I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t quickly un-see it?  You don’t want our boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?"

I think she has a point. I would not be happy if my teenage girl posted pictures of herself in a state of undress on the world wide web and I also think teenage girls often don't realise what they do and what the consequences can be. Where does that snapshot end up? Will you ever be able to delete it once it has entered the virtual network? etc etc

But there is also another side to this, another way to look at it, and I also agree with that.

On 4 kids, a suitcase and a beagle, http://shamozal.blogspot.in/2013/09/fyi-if-youre-teenage-boys-mum.html?spref=fb Kirsty writes about the fact that teenage boys should learn to look at girls with respect.

"I want/need my boys to know that this is okay. That women are as free to see as many men as they like. That equality means there are no double standards. Women are not to be judged by their purity."
and

"It was possibly this that disturbed me (and the fact that Mrs Hall's original post had her sons half naked in board shorts at the beach - it was okay for them to be half naked):

There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy – just like you.

I have two girls and two boys. I talk to them both in exactly the same way about online behaviour. And I talk to them in exactly the same way about social behaviour. Their thoughts are their own. But if I ever hear them judge a woman on the length of the skirt or the fact that's she's posted a picture of herself in a towel on the internet THEN I will be truly disappointed.

I'm pretty sure that by the time my boys are in the height of their hormonal teenage-hood, there will be absolutely nothing I will be able to do to make "their minds pure". What I can do though, is teach them not to judge."

Two opinions that I both agree with, is that possible?

I do frown sometimes when I see the photographs some girls put on Facebook. They are pretty and have beautiful bodies, but the way they pose disturbs me sometimes. The sexual connotation it has makes me wonder who they post it for and why. What is their aim? Probably just to show their beauty and they have every right to do so I guess.

I think it makes me frown because I am a frumpy, middle aged, mother and I can see how it will embarrass these girls to stumble upon those photos when they are older/wiser/more mature and mothers of teenage girls themselves.

As far as I can tell my teenage boys are not that impressed by those photographs (yet), but should I block the girls that post them from my boys FB accounts? Is that the way to "keep their minds pure"? I don't think so. I think I should teach them how to deal with it, teach them those pictures are not the norm, like pictures in magazines are not the norm and like porn is not the norm. I don't think keeping them away from it (if that is even possible) will keep their minds pure. If anything it will fuel the idea that it is exiting. Forbidden fruits are all the more attractive aren't they?

There was one more post about posting photographs and this one shows that it are not just teenage girls that do it. I had to laugh about this one on Woog's World: http://www.woogsworld.com/2013/09/here-is-photo-of-my-penis-guide-to.html


My only problem now is to figure out a way to have a serious conversation about this with my boys. They usually run away, totally embarrassed, when I broach on any topic of a sexual nature......