Disappointed

There is no such thing as crack resistant...not when it comes to me and my emotions

I had planned to write a blog about the trips we took when Ian and Monica were visiting us last week,but I need more time to sort out the photos and I am not really in the mood right now. The past two days I have spent the afternoon at school for the 'student led parent teacher conference'. Mostly raving reviews about my boys, they seem to be pleasant students that pay attention in class, they participate and ask questions, but then comes the much dreaded BUT....

One of them needs to get his act together when it comes to neatness and keeping his notebooks up to date, no news there, but it also turned out he has lost his diary AGAIN and he lost it a month ago, without telling anyone or getting an alternative in place. So his homework was not always handed in or not fully made.
This boy has lost so many school items over the last few years that I lost count. Water bottles, sweaters, lunchboxes, pens, the list is endless. He is either very careless or very unlucky, but the thing that gets me is the fact that he doesn't seem to care. I freak out when I misplace something and think it is lost, he won't even search for his.
Last night I saw his lunch card/library card/school ID had gone missing AGAIN from his key cord, I am ashamed to admit it drove me to tears.

Another thing that I was shocked to find out is that one of our beloved teenagers had not studied for 3 different tests. For one I could see why, because he was ill and at home on the day of the test and had to sit it unexpectedly the next day, but the other two he just didn't study for. Couldn't be bothered apparently....
Still got a pass on those tests... so he got proof there is no need to put any effort in...how do you reason against that with a hormone overloaded teenager?

I had to repeat a year in high school because I got so stressed about tests that I had black outs. I would study till late at night and then get up early the next morning to revise again just to find I couldn't remember a thing as soon as the test papers hit my desk.
I lost a bracelet while walking the dog when I was about 12. I searched and searched the area for several days and never found it. I cried and cried and till this day still feel a little twist in my stomach when I think about it.

How did I end up with children that seem to care less? Is it my over-controlling style of parenting? Do I freak out so much that they feel they don't have to anymore? Is it a boy-girl thing?
Why do I feel like I should have/could have done more to make sure these boys have their act together? Why do I feel I have failed???
I know I am over reacting, no need to point that out, thanks, so I am working hard on controlling my need to controle. Letting go is hard!
I love my children so much and I want them to make the most of their life, but it is up to them and they need to make their mistakes.

To summarize it all: I am mostly disappointed in myself I guess. I should probably have a long session with my dear sister in law, she is a psychologist. Sometimes it is a pity I don't drink ;-)

Ok, deep breaths, let it go. OOOOOHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Writing this down helps, so thanks for listening ;-) I will post a more fun filled blog soon, with all the adventures we had with Ian and Monica. 

The last day

It is the last day of our long weekend. Today is a holiday in honour of Gandhi's birthday and yesterday was a bridge day.

We had a lovely weekend filled with social activities, the boys met up with their friends and we all had lunch with a bunch on Sunday.

So tomorrow it is back to school for the boys, to the office for A and to the airport for me. I will be picking up our friends I. and M., that we know from Tripoli.

But today is the last day... of the long weekend, so J is studying for 3 (!) tests he has tomorrow, and of my 46th year on this planet. A and the boys have decided we will celebrate today, so I had breakfast in bed, they hung the streamers in the living room and they are baking a cake and will take care of dinner and the dishes.

Tomorrow is my birthday, I will finish 46 and start 47 as they say here. I will just say it is another 4 years till I am 50 ;-)

End of the Ganeshas

Last Saturday we went to Ulsoor lake to see the Ganeshas being put in the water as the last ritual of the festival.

In the afternoon there were mostly smaller Ganesha's, being brought by families from their homes. First a lot of chanting while arriving, then puja and then specially assigned men will put the Ganesha in a basin filled with water from the lake.
(Monica & Ian, please note the Costa Coffee in the back!!!)

When it wasn't too busy they dunked the Ganesha 3 times before letting it go under water, but when it got busier they were just pushed in and some people just threw their Ganesha over the fence in the water.

These women were more interested in the sail boats on the lake then the Ganeshas.

This group took their time for a photo moment. The guy in front, left, with the big moustache was their leader. He made quite a scene about the fact that their Ganesha was to be put in the water further to the middle of the basin, but the guys in the yellow t-shirts refused and the police had to come in to calm them down.

From 19:00 hour the bigger Ganeshas arrived by truck or bus. Because they were too heavy to lift, they were put on a platform and lifted by a crane to the middle of the basin and pushed into the water from there.
Not a very safe procedure, but safer than walking down the steps into the water and risking losing your balance. Many people have drowned that way over the years.

The guy in the middle of the last photo scared the hell out of us by taking a small child with him on the platform....

After this we left, we had seen enough Ganeshas for this festival and the crowd was getting a bit too rowdy and drunk for our liking.

This festival kicked off the festival season, so more colourful and noisy times will follow.

Ganesha has left Vista

This afternoon the Ganesha from the workers of Adarsh Vista was taken to a lake. It was a slow procession with drums and dancing. The workers got themselves some nice bright t-shirts and had great fun splashing each other with water.

Another great photo opportunity!

Ganesh Chaturthi

Yesterday the Ganesha festival started.

According to Wikipedia, the Ganesha festival is
'celebrated on the occasion of birthday of Lord Ganesha, the son of Shiva and Parvati, who is believed to bestow his presence on earth for all his devotees in the duration of this festival. It is the day Shiva declared his son Ganesha as superior to all the gods, barring Vishnu, Lakshmi, Shiva and Parvati. Ganesha is widely worshipped as the god of wisdom, prosperity and good fortune and traditionally invoked at the beginning of any new venture or at the start of travel.'

The streets of Bangalore have been lined by Ganesha idols and palm leaves the last week and most communities buy a statue to display in their neighbourhood during the festival.

Ganeshas for sale, in all shapes and sizes

The festival starts with the puja (prayers and offerings) and then the Ganesha is ready to be visited by one and all.

I went out with some friends to have a look at several different Ganeshas in villages just outside our neighbourhood and in our own area. In Adarsh Vista the maintenance people always buy a Ganesha and put in on display at the community centre.

 

We have seen at least 10 different Ganeshas and they were all decorated and displayed with care and imagination. It is the ultimate Bling-fest.

A selection of different Ganeshas

The Ganesha on the pictures above was the most elaborate one we saw.

This Ganesha was covered in smoke from the fire in front of it.

After the puja, food is handed out to everyone attending or passing by. The food is cooked in huge pots and prepared in make shift kitchens or garages.

Enough food to feed the village

And it is handed out from big buckets

It was a great day. On Saturday we will go to Ulsoor lake to see the Ganeshas being taken into the water.

19 years!

Today is our wedding anniversary. I have been married to the love of my life for 19 years now. He is in Houston for a week, so no romantic dinner or other romance going on here. I asked him if he thinks we will make it till 25 or if he will find himself a young(er), slim(mer) and overall more easy going girlfriend to replace me, like so many men his age seem to do.
He assured me I don't have to worry, he is too old for a young(er) girlfriend... Isn't that romantic? It is on the same level as why he will never have an affair: "That is a logistical nightmare!"

Not "Why would I want a girlfriend when I have you, my love?" or "I love you so much I would never even be interested in another woman". Nothing of the sort.

I guess I should be happy with whatever reason, as long as he sticks to his word, right? He has never asked me about my interest in other men... probably knows nobody can come close to the great husband material I have at home...hmmmmmmm

Still, I am confident we will make it to 25 (Deo Volente/Inshallah) even if we are not the most romantic couple. We have gone through so much together in the last 19 years (and a few years before that), we have survived many stressful events because of our love for each other and we have shared many, many happy occasions. Only 6 more years to go to get to that mile stone and knowing our track record, it will be eventful years...Looking forward to it!

Sunday Morning

Sunday morning 8:00 o'clock (and every afternoon on the other 6 days):

Next week Saturday Joshua will finally have a swimming competition again.