Family

When are you part of a family? Is is just by blood or marriage? I come from a small family myself. Besides my parents I have one sister and two brothers, three aunts and two uncles, one niece and three nephews*. My sister and one brother are married and they both have one girl and one boy each.

Adriaan comes from a family of four too, but he has/had many uncles and two aunts and they all have several children. I don't think I have met them all by a long shot.
Adriaan's sister has two girls and his youngest brother a boy and a girl.

I guess all those people count as family in the official sense of the word.

This week I got a message on Facebook from one of my 3 adopted brothers to ask for my address in India, because he wants to send me a birth announcement when his first child will be born in May.
Adopted brother? Well yes, in a Whitney Houston kind of way (and no, I am not engaged to him in a Bobbi Kristina kind of way), so nothing official with paperwork etc. My parents had nothing to do with this adoption, it was my sister that caused it all. I am not sure if she adopted them or they adopted her, it happened a long time ago, but since she became their sister so did I by default.

I also have an adopted son. He lives with his (biological) parents in Ireland. We all know each other from our time on Bonny Island and we have one of those rare friendships where we all get along really well. We feel at home at each other's houses and whenever we get together (not often enough) both families automatically become one. The four boys are like brothers and all four of the adults are their parents. We trust each other with the most precious thing on earth: our children.

Officially all this 'adoption' business is nonsense, but to me it feels real. Those people are family to me. Even more so than some true relatives are.


* I think I have the English terms mixed up again. I always make mistakes when it comes to nephews and nieces or cousins. In Dutch there are no different names, the children of your brother or sister are nephews and nieces but also the children of your aunt or uncle.

PS

Internet also helps to 'extend' your family. I am in contact with two female cousins (hope I got it right this time) of Adriaan. I have met their parents, but I have never met them personally. We read each other's blogs and are friends on FB. The funny thing is that one of them has a son that has a typical Spaander face. He looks a lot like A's youngest brother and his son. No better proof of family ties than that.