Incredible India

This week started of nicely. The boys' new passports were home delivered (!) by the Dutch Consulate's Liaison Officer (thank you Ineke).  We have started collecting all the papers we need for our Resident Permit Extension, that is probably going to be another blog filling Incredible India story...

Monday was also the first day of Swim Camp at Vista for Babu's children. I had enrolled them for the swimming lessons a while ago and they were really looking forward to it. Three weeks of swimming lessons, 5 days a week.
I went to the pool to witness a whole bunch of kids, all trying to float and kick or just try and be brave enough to stick their head under water. Babu's son took to it like a duck to water ;-).
Babu's daughter was a bit nervous when it was time for her lesson, but she did really well too.

Tuesday I spent the whole day at the slum as volunteer at the Summer School. It was warm, smelly, noisy and chaotic, but so much fun. Word of the day: Auntie. In India it is considered polite for a child to call an adult woman auntie and a man uncle. So the children try to get your attention by pulling at you, pushing you or even hitting you, while calling auntie, auntie, auntie, over and over again.
All volunteers wear name tags, but most of the children can't read, so they ask: "Auntie, what is your name?" After a whole morning of being called auntie, I answered: "Auntie", and none of the kids thought that was strange.

When Summer School ended just after three o'clock, I saw I had several missed calls from Babu. I called him back and heard his children were not allowed to take part in the swimming lessons anymore and security had told them to leave. I was surprised and confused (to put it mildly).
Apparently one of the parents at the pool had complained on Monday that the children from a driver were taking the class. Instead of coming to me (I was at the pool and sat with Babu's daughter), security was alerted and the Management Committee (MC) informed.
So after Monday evening and the whole of Tuesday without getting in touch with me, they decided -against the coach's request- to take a little boy out of the pool mid lesson..... I felt so embarrassed. Those children were my guests and, regardless of their father's profession, they and I should have been treated with more respect.

I can fully accept the fact that only the children from Vista residents are allowed to take classes, but I doubt if that is indeed the case and in this particular instance I am sure that wasn't the reason for the complaint.
The coach was told that it was because driver's kids were not allowed and no exception could be made because then all the drivers would want their children to take classes.

To make sure that embarrassing mishaps like this would not happen to us again, I wrote an email to the MC asking for clarification on the matter.
Wednesday afternoon a MC representative came to my house to talk to me. She apologised for the fact that things were handled the way they were without getting us involved. She also explained again that the children from drivers are not allowed to take classes at Vista. This because if drivers are allowed, maids would also want their children to participate and then things would get out of hand and it could become a health and hygiene risk...

I have been really upset by all of this, but I also realise this is the perfect example of a clash of cultures. India has officially abandoned the caste system, but it is still very much ingrained in Indian society. These days it is maybe more of a class system.
Being Dutch means I have been raised in a society that has compromise and consensus written all over it. Everyone should be treated equally, no matter what background they have or what colour their skin. I know very well that discrimination and inequality exist in The Netherlands too, but we are taught it is wrong. I was raised by my parents with the phrase "treat others like you would want to be treated"  and that has been what I try to install in my children too.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying all Indians are discriminating, but the social structure and with that the way people approach eachother, is not based on equality.

I don't want to be that foreigner that lives the good life abroad, but critisises the country that hosts me. If you don't like it, leave I would say. I will file this under 'lessons learnt' and will try to be more sensitive to India's culture, but it will sometimes be with great difficulty and lack of sleep.