This week has been quite boring so far, not because nothing happens, but because I have spent most of it flat on my back in bed.
I finally saw a doctor for my back pain last week (it has been bothering me for at least the last 6 months) and a CT scan showed a disc bulge. So physiotherapy and bed rest is what should cure it and I have to admit the pain is a lot less. Hardest thing so far is sitting on a dining room chair with a straight back and not being allowed to sit or lay on the couch. Sitting up all straight and proper is hard work.
It has been raining a lot the last few days. Thunderstorms and lightning. Dark afternoons and washing that doesn't dry.... Can't wait for the Monsoon Season with just the occasional shower ;-)
Thursday, 17 May 2012
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Incredible Immunisation
Yesterday was my last day volunteering at the summer school in the slum. It was warm and chaotic as always (takes a lot of energy from someone like me that likes structure and rules and obedient children). At the end of the morning there suddenly were a lot of children crying. I asked what was wrong and got some incoherent story about pain and needing an injection and not being able to take part in the activities anymore. So I went outside to check what was going on. I asked one of the women that work there and she told me the children were being immunised.
Turned out that just outside the gate of the unit two women were injecting children. The kids were screaming and crying and it was total chaos (yes, I know, to me it looks like a chaos pretty quick, but this was chaos for real). The women that did the immunisation just wore sarees, no white nurses coats, no name tags or anything to identify them by, so it was hard to tell who was part of the 'health group' and who wasn't. Thank God for India's hierarchy, because there is always an Important Man with the compulsory Important Man Moustache and he soon picked up on our horror.
Alice and I asked what was going on and if he could proof that he indeed was part of an official health group and allowed to do this. We felt that the children were in our care at the summer school and they couldn't just take them out without letting us know and having their parents present.
The IM had no paperwork and no ID tag, but he assured us it was all fine, we were welcome to come and check out his office. We told him he should carry proof with him on occasions like this.
We asked him who was keeping records? He didn't understand. Surely you keep records of the children that are being immunised? Surely you have the parents permission to stick a needle in their child? How else would you know who to immunise for what?
One of the things that I had checked straight away was the needles they used and to my great relieve they used clean needles.
I am all for immunisation and I also think it is great that children that live in a slum get free vaccinations, God knows they need it, BUT is has to be properly recorded and done under better conditions. The children need a record to keep track of what they have been immunised for and when. The whole circus should be done in a health centre or a community hall, not on a dirty table that (literally!!!) stands on top of a garbage belt.
The parents that were there were happy with 'the injection', but didn't really know what it was for.
I may be a bit too sceptical, but how do you know for sure that the fluids that are injected are of good quality? That they are not out of date or overheated? How do you know for sure this child has not had any side effects from previous vaccinations or has allergies to certain components of the vaccine?
I am not sure what to make of it all, but it sure made me think about how lucky we are with access to proper health care, not having to rely on well intended but badly organised visits from an immunisation team.
Friday, 4 May 2012
TCK's
It happens so often that I read somebody's blog en think: I should have/could have written this. That happened to me this morning when I read 'Change the Tone' on http://shamozal.blogspot.in/ and watched the video she posted. The blog entry is about children from expats, so called Third Culture Kids. My kids are TCK's and I see a lot of positives and some negatives about it.
In the video they ask the TCK's where their home is and none of them can answer it without thinking and explaining why they are not sure. Maybe it is a bit easier for my boys, since we all have the same nationality and have a house in The Netherlands. It is the place where our relatives live and where we flee to when things go wrong in our host country. But the boys have only really lived in NL for 3 years, when they were still quite young, most of the memories that they have of their time spent 'at home' is from holidays, not about real life with school and homework.
Ruben and Simon would love to move back to NL, while Joshua wants an expat life once he has graduated.
The one thing I have always considered a big bonus for TCK's, is the fact that they grow up with children from so many different nationalities and religions and such different back grounds. In Libya there were over 60 different nationalities in their school, here in India about 40 I think. We have lived in Christian, Muslim and Hindu countries and experienced a variety of political systems and degrees of corruption. It has influenced our lives and our way of thinking, both positive and negative. We have been foreigners and minorities for most of my children's lives and that changes your perspective too.
I hope and think it has made us more open minded and tolerant.
Moving every 4 years (or rather 3.5 years with our track record of being evacuated), can make or break your relationship and your family. We have seen several marriages end in divorce or families move back to their base counties, because either the spouse or a child couldn't cope with life abroad.
Adriaan and I are still going strong, TG. Moving to new places also makes your family the only constant factor in your life. It has made our unit stronger.
We love how this life gives us an opportunity to get to know many countries and cultures up close. But we also realise this is our choice and not necessarily the way of life our boys would have chosen. The boys are getting a great education, but they have been 'the new boys in class' a bit too often for their liking (3 school in 6 months last year was a bit much) and they make friends for a few years, not for life as they might have done if we had lived in NL.
I am sure that if we had lived in NL, Joshua would have had better opportunities to make the most of his swimming talent and could have been on a proper swim team. That is one regret I have, that he has missed out on that.
Life is all about choices, not always made by yourself, and it is only in hind sight that you can tell whether you have made the right choices or not. I hope and pray we did!
My TCK's are growing into wonderful teenagers at the moment and I hope they will become well balanced TCAdults one day, that can look back on a very diverse and a bit chaotic time growing up. If not, I hope we can afford to pay for therapy ;-)
In the video they ask the TCK's where their home is and none of them can answer it without thinking and explaining why they are not sure. Maybe it is a bit easier for my boys, since we all have the same nationality and have a house in The Netherlands. It is the place where our relatives live and where we flee to when things go wrong in our host country. But the boys have only really lived in NL for 3 years, when they were still quite young, most of the memories that they have of their time spent 'at home' is from holidays, not about real life with school and homework.
Ruben and Simon would love to move back to NL, while Joshua wants an expat life once he has graduated.
The one thing I have always considered a big bonus for TCK's, is the fact that they grow up with children from so many different nationalities and religions and such different back grounds. In Libya there were over 60 different nationalities in their school, here in India about 40 I think. We have lived in Christian, Muslim and Hindu countries and experienced a variety of political systems and degrees of corruption. It has influenced our lives and our way of thinking, both positive and negative. We have been foreigners and minorities for most of my children's lives and that changes your perspective too.
I hope and think it has made us more open minded and tolerant.
Moving every 4 years (or rather 3.5 years with our track record of being evacuated), can make or break your relationship and your family. We have seen several marriages end in divorce or families move back to their base counties, because either the spouse or a child couldn't cope with life abroad.
Adriaan and I are still going strong, TG. Moving to new places also makes your family the only constant factor in your life. It has made our unit stronger.
We love how this life gives us an opportunity to get to know many countries and cultures up close. But we also realise this is our choice and not necessarily the way of life our boys would have chosen. The boys are getting a great education, but they have been 'the new boys in class' a bit too often for their liking (3 school in 6 months last year was a bit much) and they make friends for a few years, not for life as they might have done if we had lived in NL.
I am sure that if we had lived in NL, Joshua would have had better opportunities to make the most of his swimming talent and could have been on a proper swim team. That is one regret I have, that he has missed out on that.
Life is all about choices, not always made by yourself, and it is only in hind sight that you can tell whether you have made the right choices or not. I hope and pray we did!
My TCK's are growing into wonderful teenagers at the moment and I hope they will become well balanced TCAdults one day, that can look back on a very diverse and a bit chaotic time growing up. If not, I hope we can afford to pay for therapy ;-)
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
Summer School
During April and May it is summer holiday for the government schools in India. Two months off in the warmest time of the year. A lot of activities are organised for the children (like the swim camp that ended prematurely for some...) and the volunteers from ANU organise a summer school for the children in the slum. Every Tuesday and Thursday we entertain 50 children in the morning and 50 in the afternoon. The first camp of 2 weeks ended last Thursday, so today a new group started.
When I arrived this morning at 9:30, most of them were already there. We start at 10:00hr and most Indians are not very good at coming on time, so this is a good indication of how much the children look forward to the day.
After roll call and name tags the session starts with a song, explaining the rules and showing the activities for the day.
Today the children made juggling balls from balloons and they coloured mandalas. Each activity takes an hour and there is snack time in between. Getting the kids organised always takes some effort from us 'Aunties', but once they start they take it very seriously and work very concentrated. At the end of the session they can take their art work home to show to their parents.
When I arrived this morning at 9:30, most of them were already there. We start at 10:00hr and most Indians are not very good at coming on time, so this is a good indication of how much the children look forward to the day.
Waiting for things to come
After roll call and name tags the session starts with a song, explaining the rules and showing the activities for the day.
Today the children made juggling balls from balloons and they coloured mandalas. Each activity takes an hour and there is snack time in between. Getting the kids organised always takes some effort from us 'Aunties', but once they start they take it very seriously and work very concentrated. At the end of the session they can take their art work home to show to their parents.
What will we do today?
Colouring Mandalas
Little Mounesh ate 5 cookies and 2 bananas and drank 3 cups of lemonade during snack time!
At the end of a warm and smelly day, the children go home happy and so do the volunteers, tired and in need of a shower.
"Auntie, take picture and show me!"
Monday, 30 April 2012
Incredible India 2
Today was one of those days that turned out completely different than planned. Usually I do the weekly shopping at Hyper City on Monday morning, but yesterday I got an invitation for a birthday lunch in the city, so I decided to do part of the shopping at our local supermarket and the rest later this week at HC.
This morning I found a message saying the lunch was cancelled, so a whole "empty" Monday with endless possibilities opened up to me. But not for long....
After dropping Adriaan off at the office, Baburaj noticed that one of the car's tires was a bit flat, so he decided to go to the petrol station to add some air. While the car was parked and the tire got filled, one of the guys from the petrol station decided to move a truck that had just been filled and whose driver had gone to pay. The fact that the man had no licence and no clue, became evident when he forgot that a truck is quite wide and passed too close to our car. Result:
This morning I found a message saying the lunch was cancelled, so a whole "empty" Monday with endless possibilities opened up to me. But not for long....
After dropping Adriaan off at the office, Baburaj noticed that one of the car's tires was a bit flat, so he decided to go to the petrol station to add some air. While the car was parked and the tire got filled, one of the guys from the petrol station decided to move a truck that had just been filled and whose driver had gone to pay. The fact that the man had no licence and no clue, became evident when he forgot that a truck is quite wide and passed too close to our car. Result:
Broken light cover, squished metal and a nice dent
With this one mistake several people got involved: Baburaj, our driver + the petrol station guy + the driver of the truck (who wasn't driving the truck and never told the boy to do so) + the owner of the petrol station and (with the phone call from Baburaj to explain what had happened) ME (should probably be I).
After telling me what had happened, Baburaj handed the phone to the owner of the petrol station, who apologised for the mishap en said he took complete responsibility for what his worker had caused. I told him I appreciated that very much, but that I would like to have that in writing.
So when Baburaj came home he indeed had a letter, signed and stamped, for whatever good that would do us.
After a cup of strong coffee Babu and I headed for Nandi Toyota to get an estimate of the cost for repair. It turned out that their estimate was in case we pay the repair our self, we had to go to a different location to get an estimate in case we let our insurance handle the repair.
In both cases we will have to fork out at least Rs 20.000,=!!!!
With the estimates we went to the petrol station to talk to the owner to see if he could 'help us out'. The man was very friendly and our discussion very civilised, but bottom line was that I didn't have many options. We can sue the truck driver, because it was his truck that did the damage. It would mean getting the police involved, the truck confiscated for some days and a court case. The truck driver/owner would have to pay a fine (to the court, not to us) and we would only get a report for the insurance company out of it. He would loose a lot of money and he didn't even drive. Bottom line: we would still have to pay Rs 20.000,=
The owner of the petrol station offered us the use of his car for the time our car would be at the garage for repair, so we don't have to rent one. He got the young man in that did drive the truck and I showed him the estimate. He almost wet his pants. He apologised and offered to pay Rs 4000,= most likely the largest part of his monthly pay.
In most countries I know) people have insurance to cover the damage they cause. In India your insurance pays (part of) the damage someone else causes....
After some thinking we decided to have the damage repaired on our cost and made a deal with the owner of the petrol station to give us two full tanks of Diesel.
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Tetra Pack Bags for sale
Last Friday I spent the whole day at the boys' school with 3 women from ANU (the slum project that I volunteer for).
The Canadian International School Bangalore collects used tetra packs for ANU and because of Earth week they asked us to come to school to show and sell the bags that the women make.
I had brought a car load (literally!) of bags to school on Thursday, so on Friday morning I was at the unit to pick the women up at 8:00 o'clock. Nobody was there yet, but I was greeted by a couple of goats.
We left in time to start the sale at 9:30 and had a constant stream of customers till 15:15 hr. Most of what we brought got sold and everyone was surprised about what could be made from discarted drinks cartons.
It was a long, warm day, but it was great fun and we made a nice sum of money for ANU.
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Incredible India
This week started of nicely. The boys' new passports were home delivered (!) by the Dutch Consulate's Liaison Officer (thank you Ineke). We have started collecting all the papers we need for our Resident Permit Extension, that is probably going to be another blog filling Incredible India story...
Monday was also the first day of Swim Camp at Vista for Babu's children. I had enrolled them for the swimming lessons a while ago and they were really looking forward to it. Three weeks of swimming lessons, 5 days a week.
I went to the pool to witness a whole bunch of kids, all trying to float and kick or just try and be brave enough to stick their head under water. Babu's son took to it like a duck to water ;-).
Babu's daughter was a bit nervous when it was time for her lesson, but she did really well too.
Tuesday I spent the whole day at the slum as volunteer at the Summer School. It was warm, smelly, noisy and chaotic, but so much fun. Word of the day: Auntie. In India it is considered polite for a child to call an adult woman auntie and a man uncle. So the children try to get your attention by pulling at you, pushing you or even hitting you, while calling auntie, auntie, auntie, over and over again.
All volunteers wear name tags, but most of the children can't read, so they ask: "Auntie, what is your name?" After a whole morning of being called auntie, I answered: "Auntie", and none of the kids thought that was strange.
When Summer School ended just after three o'clock, I saw I had several missed calls from Babu. I called him back and heard his children were not allowed to take part in the swimming lessons anymore and security had told them to leave. I was surprised and confused (to put it mildly).
Apparently one of the parents at the pool had complained on Monday that the children from a driver were taking the class. Instead of coming to me (I was at the pool and sat with Babu's daughter), security was alerted and the Management Committee (MC) informed.
So after Monday evening and the whole of Tuesday without getting in touch with me, they decided -against the coach's request- to take a little boy out of the pool mid lesson..... I felt so embarrassed. Those children were my guests and, regardless of their father's profession, they and I should have been treated with more respect.
I can fully accept the fact that only the children from Vista residents are allowed to take classes, but I doubt if that is indeed the case and in this particular instance I am sure that wasn't the reason for the complaint.
The coach was told that it was because driver's kids were not allowed and no exception could be made because then all the drivers would want their children to take classes.
To make sure that embarrassing mishaps like this would not happen to us again, I wrote an email to the MC asking for clarification on the matter.
Wednesday afternoon a MC representative came to my house to talk to me. She apologised for the fact that things were handled the way they were without getting us involved. She also explained again that the children from drivers are not allowed to take classes at Vista. This because if drivers are allowed, maids would also want their children to participate and then things would get out of hand and it could become a health and hygiene risk...
I have been really upset by all of this, but I also realise this is the perfect example of a clash of cultures. India has officially abandoned the caste system, but it is still very much ingrained in Indian society. These days it is maybe more of a class system.
Being Dutch means I have been raised in a society that has compromise and consensus written all over it. Everyone should be treated equally, no matter what background they have or what colour their skin. I know very well that discrimination and inequality exist in The Netherlands too, but we are taught it is wrong. I was raised by my parents with the phrase "treat others like you would want to be treated" and that has been what I try to install in my children too.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying all Indians are discriminating, but the social structure and with that the way people approach eachother, is not based on equality.
I don't want to be that foreigner that lives the good life abroad, but critisises the country that hosts me. If you don't like it, leave I would say. I will file this under 'lessons learnt' and will try to be more sensitive to India's culture, but it will sometimes be with great difficulty and lack of sleep.
Monday was also the first day of Swim Camp at Vista for Babu's children. I had enrolled them for the swimming lessons a while ago and they were really looking forward to it. Three weeks of swimming lessons, 5 days a week.
I went to the pool to witness a whole bunch of kids, all trying to float and kick or just try and be brave enough to stick their head under water. Babu's son took to it like a duck to water ;-).
Babu's daughter was a bit nervous when it was time for her lesson, but she did really well too.
Tuesday I spent the whole day at the slum as volunteer at the Summer School. It was warm, smelly, noisy and chaotic, but so much fun. Word of the day: Auntie. In India it is considered polite for a child to call an adult woman auntie and a man uncle. So the children try to get your attention by pulling at you, pushing you or even hitting you, while calling auntie, auntie, auntie, over and over again.
All volunteers wear name tags, but most of the children can't read, so they ask: "Auntie, what is your name?" After a whole morning of being called auntie, I answered: "Auntie", and none of the kids thought that was strange.
When Summer School ended just after three o'clock, I saw I had several missed calls from Babu. I called him back and heard his children were not allowed to take part in the swimming lessons anymore and security had told them to leave. I was surprised and confused (to put it mildly).
Apparently one of the parents at the pool had complained on Monday that the children from a driver were taking the class. Instead of coming to me (I was at the pool and sat with Babu's daughter), security was alerted and the Management Committee (MC) informed.
So after Monday evening and the whole of Tuesday without getting in touch with me, they decided -against the coach's request- to take a little boy out of the pool mid lesson..... I felt so embarrassed. Those children were my guests and, regardless of their father's profession, they and I should have been treated with more respect.
I can fully accept the fact that only the children from Vista residents are allowed to take classes, but I doubt if that is indeed the case and in this particular instance I am sure that wasn't the reason for the complaint.
The coach was told that it was because driver's kids were not allowed and no exception could be made because then all the drivers would want their children to take classes.
To make sure that embarrassing mishaps like this would not happen to us again, I wrote an email to the MC asking for clarification on the matter.
Wednesday afternoon a MC representative came to my house to talk to me. She apologised for the fact that things were handled the way they were without getting us involved. She also explained again that the children from drivers are not allowed to take classes at Vista. This because if drivers are allowed, maids would also want their children to participate and then things would get out of hand and it could become a health and hygiene risk...
I have been really upset by all of this, but I also realise this is the perfect example of a clash of cultures. India has officially abandoned the caste system, but it is still very much ingrained in Indian society. These days it is maybe more of a class system.
Being Dutch means I have been raised in a society that has compromise and consensus written all over it. Everyone should be treated equally, no matter what background they have or what colour their skin. I know very well that discrimination and inequality exist in The Netherlands too, but we are taught it is wrong. I was raised by my parents with the phrase "treat others like you would want to be treated" and that has been what I try to install in my children too.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying all Indians are discriminating, but the social structure and with that the way people approach eachother, is not based on equality.
I don't want to be that foreigner that lives the good life abroad, but critisises the country that hosts me. If you don't like it, leave I would say. I will file this under 'lessons learnt' and will try to be more sensitive to India's culture, but it will sometimes be with great difficulty and lack of sleep.
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